Woe is Millie!

To my loyal followers - (Well the 6 of you!) I promised blogs and blogs you shall get....

However - normal service will resume shortly - I want to take this oppotunity for a lil bit of self indulgence.  I am think I am due some - AND is pretty sure that I have not said anywhere else that I will refrain from it - (Which is not an excuse for peeps to find said quote and send back to me!) Also it's my blog and no-one is forcing you to read it - unless it has finally been licensed to help bad people repent.

Also for a little change I will apologise in advance for the spelling - (Not that it is usually any better but.. tis a special occasion of selfness!) I could offer all sorts of excuses like I am tired, ill etc but I won't! (BTW I am tired & ill :( )

As I alluded to in the previous blog my life has somewhat been turned upon its head, and I am a calamity magnet and somewhat clumsy. No I hear you shreik - yes I sadly concur.

I did not want to blog about how absolutley shite life actually is (even tho I just did) as I am constantly being asked / consoled etc but it does lead to a point I am trying to make which ties into the post! Well I hope it does and this is not some codeine induced drivel.

So to finally begin the blog -  (Faint of heart please stop reading now - (if any is still reading!))

Millie's Mildly Amusing Day!

Old wives tales / Self help guides etc - there are many, many of them out there, advising you on everything from warts to war. Full of advice on what to do, what to expect and every bit of advice contradicts another piece of advice. In my new status as recently single, I have heard plenty, from burn everything, to midnight rituals, to read, to bathe, to cast a spells and even one on want me to sort it! (In a menacing deep mafia cockney voice). I have smiled, accepted said advice with a wise nod, some thanks and a hug.

The best piece that I heard was - 'It takes  the time of the relationship plus half again to get over it.' 

OK

So - basically I have to wait, 9 years + 4.5 years before I will be over / normal / free to move on etc. Which using my amazing maths skills will make me 41 and a half! 41 and a half - then what? Will I wake up day exactly 13 and a half years later and think - Aha- I am cured!!!!

I thinks not - However on a slight side note the joys of photoshop & digital photos means I can rip up photos numerous times! MMMMmmm Joy!

Moving On...

The last few weeks have been a tad up and downy for Millie and she may have been on a lil bit of a self destruct path - (Which could also explain the 'illness & tiredness')

TODAY however & it deserves to be in capitals - TODAY was seized - was designated the DAY to get things sorted - to tidy up (at least the downstairs) to see old friends & catch back up with LIFE. That was the intention. It was about time & besides had ran out of clean underwear... & floor space in the bedroom (!) TODAY was TODAY.

I got off to a good start - woked up nice & early (having decided that starting at 3 in the morning is a bad way to start!) Kicked the moggies out... polished the kitchen to within an inch of its life - cats doing impressions of Bambi all over the place. Choked myself in the process with too much vigour on the Cillit Bang.

Next moved onto the living room / dining room. Moved the mess from there to the bedroom (small steps people, small steps..)

Picked the bin up - bag split - fetched the hoover - broke into thousands of pieces in my hands! (I might be exagerating!) <-- Deffo a spelling error.

Gave up & went to see me Nan.

After a day of visiting friends - came home - forgot about rubbish bag just inside the front door and tripped over it.  Shoes off, went upstairs - forgot about the newly poslished bathroom floor - slid, skated and slipped around the bathroom. I never thought I could do the splits again.

Looked out the window at the pouring rain and decied that was not going to venture out to bring the washing in - I did not see the point & it was dark and I am me....

Finally decided a quick tidy up of the bedroom was needed - took some cups downstairs and a bottle of something fruity smoothie that had been pilfered from a meeting some place. It was a pretty bottle. Popped the seal on the bottle to wash it out, and it expoded!

So I was standing in my less than ten seconds ago immaculalty clean kitchen, that now resembled a canteen after a food fight. Out of date congealed smoothy all over me, my new jumper, a cat or two, the window, the cupboards.. I am amazed at the distance travelled. AND the smell!!!

After spending the next twenty minutes while wiping up contemplating how evil I must have been in a past life - I gave up & went to b ed!

For those who are still with me, thx and g'nite x