Meh! Bleugh! Pah!

& I might as well add a gah!

So, here it is - November - aka NANOWRIMO - National Novel Writing Month!

Basically try and write a 50,000 word novel with pure literary abandon in 30 days. Simples or so it would seem - thats only approx 1,700 words a day -in fact I have written more in a blog! (I believe - I have not gone back to check any!)

Now normally I can write something, in fact there are several half started efforts and this year I was all geared up ready for Nano - had plot and everything worked out...

BUT

It seems that creativity does not come at will - that when you want it to turn up, it appears to abandon you - like sleep!

The first few seconds of Nano were brilliant - Odd Bob & I at the very stroke of Midnight on the 1st of November, picked up our respective laptops, settled down into a comfy position and said to hell with sleep - we will type till our batteries die out! (We even declined to remove our Halloween Costumes - some say that I am still wearing mine - hah!)

We typed and I managed a respectable 1,700 words... and that is where it ended :(

& I have to add that there are lots of books written in the first person!!! <-- you know who you are who that is aimed at!

Is it possible to write a book about writing a book?

I actually thought that updating this might help spark some creativity and get back but for some reason its not working - similar to the lack of sleep which is the other option I would quite like -

& there are lots of books waiting to be read, films to watch & new softwares to play with!

One final pah is aimed at part-man-part-cat who seems to be able to curl up & sleep at a moments notice!

Meh! On that note going to start recruiting shepherds to look after the many sheep I am acquiring!

On a huge positive - I had an awesome Sat night! Whoo whoo!

Millie

PS - I am not counting the number of words here either! :p

6 years, 11 months, 1 week, 6 days and some!

Could add x hours, y minutes and z seconds - but my brain has failed me - besides which would have changed!

That is the time left - if superstitious -until I am free of the curse - of the 7 years bad luck.

As you may or may not know - I recently broke a mirror -AND being me -was broken with style, in fact if there had of been judges, I am sure I would have been awarded full marks.

That in itsself was bad luck enough - add the fact I needed A&E, X-rays & stitches (Which nearly stayed in!!!) makes me think I should have had my quota!

It seems not!

I am not overly superstitious, I avoid ladders as that just makes sense, and I have my magpie, howdedoody, saluting just because but I did not sign up to the 7 year bad luck thingy.

No siree!

However, it seems that something is amiss. There are way too many bumps and scrapes to put down to my usual clumsyness, and I also seem to be seeing more magpies and single ones at that!

On the plus side - I seem to be providing merriment to those around me!

In the last few weeks since the 'Mirror' I have...

 - Developed a chest infection

 - Bumped my head on the desk (twice)

 - Tripped up

 - Sliced finger

 - Nipped by a dog

 - Slipped x 5

 - Chipped a tooth

 - Stood on a nail

 - Ran over my little toe

 - Bumped ankle bone on table (!)

 - Burned my ear

- Ingested hair dye

& developed lots of random bruising! & pretty sure many other things...

Help! Does anyone have any idea how to undo this? (Have already tried the dancing naked in the moonlight) 

Millie x

Woe is Millie!

To my loyal followers - (Well the 6 of you!) I promised blogs and blogs you shall get....

However - normal service will resume shortly - I want to take this oppotunity for a lil bit of self indulgence.  I am think I am due some - AND is pretty sure that I have not said anywhere else that I will refrain from it - (Which is not an excuse for peeps to find said quote and send back to me!) Also it's my blog and no-one is forcing you to read it - unless it has finally been licensed to help bad people repent.

Also for a little change I will apologise in advance for the spelling - (Not that it is usually any better but.. tis a special occasion of selfness!) I could offer all sorts of excuses like I am tired, ill etc but I won't! (BTW I am tired & ill :( )

As I alluded to in the previous blog my life has somewhat been turned upon its head, and I am a calamity magnet and somewhat clumsy. No I hear you shreik - yes I sadly concur.

I did not want to blog about how absolutley shite life actually is (even tho I just did) as I am constantly being asked / consoled etc but it does lead to a point I am trying to make which ties into the post! Well I hope it does and this is not some codeine induced drivel.

So to finally begin the blog -  (Faint of heart please stop reading now - (if any is still reading!))

Millie's Mildly Amusing Day!

Old wives tales / Self help guides etc - there are many, many of them out there, advising you on everything from warts to war. Full of advice on what to do, what to expect and every bit of advice contradicts another piece of advice. In my new status as recently single, I have heard plenty, from burn everything, to midnight rituals, to read, to bathe, to cast a spells and even one on want me to sort it! (In a menacing deep mafia cockney voice). I have smiled, accepted said advice with a wise nod, some thanks and a hug.

The best piece that I heard was - 'It takes  the time of the relationship plus half again to get over it.' 

OK

So - basically I have to wait, 9 years + 4.5 years before I will be over / normal / free to move on etc. Which using my amazing maths skills will make me 41 and a half! 41 and a half - then what? Will I wake up day exactly 13 and a half years later and think - Aha- I am cured!!!!

I thinks not - However on a slight side note the joys of photoshop & digital photos means I can rip up photos numerous times! MMMMmmm Joy!

Moving On...

The last few weeks have been a tad up and downy for Millie and she may have been on a lil bit of a self destruct path - (Which could also explain the 'illness & tiredness')

TODAY however & it deserves to be in capitals - TODAY was seized - was designated the DAY to get things sorted - to tidy up (at least the downstairs) to see old friends & catch back up with LIFE. That was the intention. It was about time & besides had ran out of clean underwear... & floor space in the bedroom (!) TODAY was TODAY.

I got off to a good start - woked up nice & early (having decided that starting at 3 in the morning is a bad way to start!) Kicked the moggies out... polished the kitchen to within an inch of its life - cats doing impressions of Bambi all over the place. Choked myself in the process with too much vigour on the Cillit Bang.

Next moved onto the living room / dining room. Moved the mess from there to the bedroom (small steps people, small steps..)

Picked the bin up - bag split - fetched the hoover - broke into thousands of pieces in my hands! (I might be exagerating!) <-- Deffo a spelling error.

Gave up & went to see me Nan.

After a day of visiting friends - came home - forgot about rubbish bag just inside the front door and tripped over it.  Shoes off, went upstairs - forgot about the newly poslished bathroom floor - slid, skated and slipped around the bathroom. I never thought I could do the splits again.

Looked out the window at the pouring rain and decied that was not going to venture out to bring the washing in - I did not see the point & it was dark and I am me....

Finally decided a quick tidy up of the bedroom was needed - took some cups downstairs and a bottle of something fruity smoothie that had been pilfered from a meeting some place. It was a pretty bottle. Popped the seal on the bottle to wash it out, and it expoded!

So I was standing in my less than ten seconds ago immaculalty clean kitchen, that now resembled a canteen after a food fight. Out of date congealed smoothy all over me, my new jumper, a cat or two, the window, the cupboards.. I am amazed at the distance travelled. AND the smell!!!

After spending the next twenty minutes while wiping up contemplating how evil I must have been in a past life - I gave up & went to b ed!

For those who are still with me, thx and g'nite x

A Flying Visit!

I am aware it has been a while since I have been surfing the digital waves, and I can promise there has been good reason...

So as so, so, so much has happened in the last few weeks, I will do a quick round robin of updates and will promise to expand upon each event in far more detail! Just to get ya'all interested!

& it means that I might hit my target of a September blog!

Where to begin?

1) - end of Aug Mrs Millie became Miss Millie - & to quote Forrest Gump - "That's all I gotta say 'bout that!"

2) - Random, last minute, unplanned meeting of one of the MisterRo's & OddBob

3) - Camping @ Silverstone for the Renault Dooby wah - with Oddbob, a cousin, a bro, a sis n law, & 2 bro's mates! -Lots of fun, Pimms & meeting new and slightly weird people!

4) - Slight calamity of tripping over own feet and ending up in a glass mirrored door in the garden - (where else do you keep you mirrors????)

5)- Most hectic sleep deprived week of work in my life!

6) - Again a last minute & very unexpected night out - as a VJ assistant!!!

So there you go - am off to hunt some food & will post longer updates in the near future!

& No excuse for some OddBob random hottie... but Merlin is back on & if you read OddBobs blog.. you will know we saw Emilia Fox, so... I think...besides the Beeb is doing a marvellous job of having him topless most the time any way...

Millie xx

Tick Tock

I thought I would slip a new post in.. as I realise that August is disappearing rapidly and am at least trying to post once a month, once a week / day ambitions have vanished along with July, June, May, and have also vanished.

With a start I realise we are now past the half way mark and that very soon Christmas will be upon us. In fact My Mother (Dearest) has recently been heard to remark on said occasion and what peoples plans are (!)

It hardly seems like 5 minutes ago I was making resolutions, all of which I have of course kept (hem hem) especially the one about giving up on giving up! And looking forward to the year a head. I am also pretty sure that time moves faster the older I get (of course right now I feel about a hundred on saying that and shall immeadiatly go and dye my hair grey!) and find that trying to fit everything in is, well impossible - especially as I cannot freeze time and do not have a TARDIS or time machine. 

To date I am not a published author - but have written 12 chapters, aquired a 14 year old critic, a number one fan (Nan) and a number two fan (Odd Bob) -so getting there - besides there is also NaNoWriMo

I have also not taken over the world with spoons, or any sort of implement - I also think this may not happen and may not be a bad thing to give up on. (NB Can be any world, in any galaxy)

I have still not invented a time machine due to err lack of time...

Nor grown a foot taller!

But on the plus side I have improved upon my photography skills to the extent that I now have peeps asking me, yup lil Millie Me, to take their photo!

Time does seem to be slipping through fingers like grains of sand and I have concluded that the best way to make the most of it is just to be. Enjoy it, fill it with fun, chillax (How down am I) and don't set yourself the impossible (Like a time machine!)

Inner Rock God!

Its something that I have long beleived - we each inside of us have an inner rock god - buried very deeply that can only emerge after several glasses of wine.

The evening passed mainly without incident, however the drummer was a tad too enthusiastic and got a teeny tiny blister - lets hope that it is not a career ending injury!

I think I was channelling Slash - I just hope no-one tells him!

Don't ask Millie!

It happened again!

One of my worst nightmares is looking after someone elses beloved pets whilst they are away, and popping into find they have deceased.

Well..

It happened again! Well, I say again, the last 2 times, the pets died within a week of my care so not sure how much blame I can take.. and in my defence they were old.

But not this time....

Sunday eve, I call round to feed the cat, bunny & fish. And no, I did not feed the bunny to the cat, nor did the cat get fed the fish!

I walk towards the hutch, bunny all fine and dandy, go to feed bunny, spend next hour trying to capture bunny. At the same time giving good thought to letting the cat help me catch the bunny.

Capture bunny finally, pop back in cage, move on to cat. Let him in the front door as the cat flap not good enough for him. I am on a roll.

Go the the fish tank...

Doh!

5 little bodies floating on the surface or bright green water. Close eyes, count to ten, caustiously re-open eyes  Gah! still the same. Not only that, but the 5 survivers are quite happliy munching on their dead relatives.

Minor panic sets in.

Phone Odd Bob to ascertain if 'Triops' have special water, which of course they do. (This being Sunday eve I doubted my chances of aquiring any!) I seach in vain.. no joy.. there was only one thing for it. Phone the parents.

After a brief call, advised to leave the water, use a syringe to remove the dead ones and carry on as normal. I feel much better after this as it turns out this is the second set of 'Triops' and the first set were cooked after being left to close to radiator!

Its a good job I am not squeamish!

Holiday Hell!!

As you may or may not be aware - Millie & Mr Millie (hubby) had booked a weeks holiday in the sun...A wee small break to relax & un-wind - even if it would be hot & sandy!

Packing for holiday... that was the easy part! When I finally got round to it - it also appears my Doc Marten sandels weigh at least 5 kg - seriously so they ended up in Hubby's case!

Bright & early Tuesday morn, we are picked up for our short drive to East Mids airport. Passports, tickets etc all in hand. English weather looking miserable... so all good...

...Err..Nope!

We arrive at airport - still in some amount of cheer - go to look at the big screens to find out where to check in... appears that the gates have just closed for the flight!

I gets that sinking feeling in pit of stomach! Look at tickets... Flight time definatley in the future. Stroll nervously up to the desk, to have it confirmed that 'yes' that was our flight, and 'yes' the gates are closed and 'no' there are no more flights from East Mids.


OH F*CK!!!


Straight on to phone to tickets people, who say the flights were changed and need to take it up with travel agency - KISS flights.. Very Helpful not!!!

Straight on phone to travel agency... they confirm that the flights had been changed and apologise for the mistake. I say thank you very much now whats the next steps? 'Please hold while I speak to my manager!'.

At this point Hubby is about to explode as he left his Ciggies & Lighter at home, none for sale at airport and getting grumpier by the second!

I am googling UK flights like crazy looking for an alternative... I find one that is a possible... only it is from Manchester, and we have no car!

Anyway... after must discussion with travel agency (must say the customer service was brill - they are reimbursing any costs we incurr and keep us in the loop regarding flights, transfers etc), they book us on the flight, change the return flight to Manchester as thats were car would be as taxi option was £150!! We make to check in with a mere ten mins to spare - and celebrate with a nice chilled glass of vino!

The flight itself was entertaining - not sure if the Captain was a stand up comedian on the side but was certainly value for money -

"We will be cranking the old bird flat out at 37,000 feet - just don't tell Stelios!"

We managed to break the speed barrier and arrive 45 mins early, just in time to check in and make it to our friends bar...

And then we all lived happily ever after!

Errr nope!

I am not including the Hubby with the sunburn (he shoulda listened) or the one day of rain or even the fact that feeding time seemed to resemble slops / prison food or holiday camp from hell... I am referring to going home!

(The in-between time was full of sun, cocktails, raki, sun, catching up with friends, sun and sunbathing! Bliss!)

The final day arrives.. with a wake up call at 4, yes 4 in the morning to tell us our bus is here - thats nice of them - considering that they are 16 hours early! And again at 5 to tell us they can't wait any longer - after several phonecalls (Not got the bill yet) we all agree that they will try again later the day at 8 in the evening. The rest of the day goes reasonably well - kicked out the room at 12 and given a scandalas price to book the shower room for a few hours!!!

8 o'clock comes, no bus, 8:30, still no bus, check - in opens at 9 and at least 30 mins drive, we call the transfer people who assure us the bus is 5 mins away. 9 o'clock arrives no bus, irate hubby starting the grumpy walk. Back on the phone, the bus forgot us! Taxi on way - and can hear wee woman in the background giving someone, presumably bus driver hell. I no speaky Greek but I got the jist!

Again we arrive at the airport with seconds to spare, check in (ask hubby if he wants one last smoke.. told its ok, will get on after gone through security!) and visit duty free. Stock up on ciggies (for hubby), vodka (for me), Metaxa (for Mum) and sweeties (for the office) go to the departures lounge to discover the smoking zone has gone!

We board the flight - aware that we land at 2 in the morn, 2 hour drive and have to be at work for 8! (No time to book additonal annual leave :( ) Have a great flight, quiet drive home and all live happily ever after!

Err

Not quite!

We arrive home, the great british sun just peaking in the sky - I was hoping for an enthusiastic welcome from my cats! I got a curious look from one as if to say 'Ah - your back then!', one went straight to the food bowl and one jumped on the suitcase. We are greeted with every plug in the house being un-plugged. We just put it down to my Mothers madness and head to bed- knowing full well I have a huge project meeting (I am the Project Manager) in little over 3 hours! Don't quite take in the water stains pooling in front of the Freezer!

A full, day at work as the early morning meeting got postponed to last thing in the afternoon - so I couldn't sneak off early. Get back home to realise that with no power to the Sky box - means nothing recorded! Phone Mother to thank for cat sitting, and make random joke, on saving the standby power...

'Oh by the way'
'Yes Mother'
'The electrics should be all sorted now'

'WHAT!!!!!!'

Turns out, on the day we left, some cables underground burnt out, plunging our house and street light into darkness, we are lucky or un-lucky enough to have no neighbours either side, so for the first day, was put down to a power cut! Day two and Mum phones the 'lectric board who come to investigate and confirm there is no power!

To cut a long story short (and this has been very long) we were without power for four days, and the contents of the freezer... well the pool of water! It is very depressing to have to throw out 4 tubs of Ben & Jerries and all my BBQ food!

PS - As I write this, what little tan I had... seems to have vanished - to the extent that people no longer believe I went away!

We're all going on a summer holiday...!

Yikes!

In less than 14 hours, I shall be in a taxi on the way to the airport!

That is not the cause of the 'Yikes', the 'Yikes' is caused by the fact that we have yet to pack! When I say we, I mean me as Hubby does not pack....

Well I say does not pack, he waits till I have packed, then opens, rummages and ruminates. Followed by removes, re-chooses and repacks!

So far I have managed to print the tickets off AND locate the passport. I have put the camera battery on to charge, and inserted the memory card in lappy to be saved and wiped. (Which probably means that I leave the battery and memory card at home!)

All I-pods loaded, charged, cats located, plants watered & instructions to Mother on their safe up-keep! (Cats & plants not Ipods)

I also need to locate where I hid the euros I obtained on the weekend - methinks might come in useful. As well as the sun cream and other odds - (Peashooters in case of Zombie attacks)

I have also decided to be rather prudent with packing - no hair straightners, 3 pairs of shoes and only a small proportion of the make up I own - this is mainly due to the weight of the case as well as the fact that most of it, returns home, un-used.

So.. all looking good - but is now a good time to point out my utter dislike for sand, and heat... especially as it is a beach holiday in Greece!

See you in a week!

xx

PS has to sneak in a random fittie for Odd Bob!

Don't Pot The Black!!!!

I recently had a spur of the moment night out with Odd Bob! We decided that a fright night and eating at our faveourite restuarant. (We are trying to eat at every branch - Oh and try and find one with raspberries!!)

So, duly packed up, headed down the M1 located cinema, restuarant and eventually Odd Bob!

'Where are you?'
'At the train station!'
'Where, so are we?'
'Which station'
etc etc

We eat, try everybody elses's munchies, have a few cocktails and head to the cinema for the 900th remake or 'Nightmare on Elm Street'. We get there slightly earlier, and decide to visit the bowling lane next door, un-fortunatley all lanes are full - but we find a pool table...!

Now for the fun!

Odd Bob & I team up to play Hubby, we quickly agree on (make up) the rules, and proceed to play 'chase the balls round the table'.

After an hour, Bob & I have pretty much scared the balls in to submission, and we start the next game. The tension mounts, I break, there is a lot of balls congregating around the hole, which I think we have a good chance of potting.

Odd Bob looks at me, and offers one piece of advice - 'Whatever you do - don't pot the black!'.

Well, you can imagine what happened next, I did not become the pool shark magnificent that the shot in my mind was - yup, I potted the black!

What I did not expect was the reaction of Odd Bob!


You would have thought that I had killed her snails! So after the hysterics where over, and I stood well back, we started another game. We were doing well, we were down to the last few, Bob had the cue, Hubby was well and truly snookered. It was looking good! We had 2 balls left to pot, the black was no where in site!

Odd Bob potted the black!

THE Exciting News!

You may or may not have heard.....but!

I have some exciting news!

Whoo!

This exciting news relates to a blog I posted earlier which you may or may not have read - (Too Much Work Makes Millie A Dull Girl)! Well- it seems the powers that be have seen my plight..(and quite possibly heard / witnessed) and have decided that something needs to be done!

Of course the answer was to give Millie more work! Then pick the shocked girl up, dusted her down, provided her with caffine & chocolate and then give the good news!

I get a FTE / Minion / Pleb / Data Monkey!

Apparently I have been doing such a good job on my current project managing role that I am getting more of teh same and a person to help me!

I am now a people manager of one people! Whoo whoo! This does fill me with the most excitedness of excitement as I did not have any aspiration towards people management due to my direct and oft foot in mouth approach, in fact the response from my ever lovin hubby was 'Gawd 'elp 'em!' yup so bad that he became yokel!

The fun part now is the Job Description & thinking of things my person can do! (Work is a must - OBVIOUSLY) but...

Must speak Klingon
Lightsabre as special skills?
Abilty to fly?
Must have read all the Harry Potter books - there will be a test?

Any further suggestions?

On a not so fun note this means:

More admin :(
More HR policy type things to learn and do (ZzzzZzzz)
More responsibility (!)
Acting more serious and growned up!
Less Zombies!

Whoops A Daisy!

I actually had something really, really exciting to share with ya'll... I mean really exciting and I will, I promise get round to sharing with you. I want the anticipation to be sublime!

Anyhoo -

To the title of this blog!

As you may, or may not know I am slightly, (okay - very) accident prone. I demonstrated my complete lack of motor skills again last night.

Who would have thought that taking the washing in off the line was such an extreme sport?

Nah? Me neither!

However, I managed to end up skating across the concrete on a pebble that came from no-where and ending up in a not so graceful mess face down, with knees skinned, hands grazed and covered in mud / grass and general composy heap debris!

As I lay there, contemplating the chances that someone (a nosey neighbour or such like) may have seen this display, of a grown (sober) woman going ass over tit, and the chances of Hubby coming out to pick me up, but definitly sure that things could not get any worse!!!

Or could they?

Yes, yes they could, my cats decide that they will go from being spectators to participants and walk up and down my back! Loving little creatures! They did purr as if that made any difference!

So today, I feel like a five year old again with skinned knees and covered in bruises - gonna look great in a bikini on the beach next week!

Oh - and exciting news to follow...

A Wee Suprise

Its always nice how the small things in life can make one smile -

Like a cute scene in a field yuo pass on the way to work, or finding hidden amongst the receipts a stray £10!

Today, it was the simple joy of 7 Chicken McNuggets in my box of six.

Having decided to go swimming on a health kick...(I know Maccy D's and health do not go! - In my defence I had the salad rather then the fries!)

So, leaving the changing room's C asks her young boy (9) what shall we have for tea - YB (Young Boy) suggests Chinese - (Yumm) However the look of pain that shot across C's face - we are both on a health kick! So the middle ground was reached with McDonalds - after I pointed out they do, do salads!

After the drive home (starting to feel sore), driving through the drive thru (Convinced I just swam the channel), dropping people off (thinking may not have the energy to leave the car - Ever), I stagger / stumble in - gasping for the chair, make it, excitedly open my box (Nope not £250,000, & no banker) to find 7 nuggets - I feel like I have got one over the great corporation!

Like I said the simple things..... :)

Sometimes....

Sometimes I think that I only open my mouth to change feet.

I am one of those people, who say what they think, but sometimes before they think it! I also tend to find that what sounds really good in my head, can come out and not sound quite as good - that is judging by the look of horror on the faces of the people around me.



I can call a spade a spade, then use the damn thing to dig myself a nice deep hole with it. And yet will still keep on digging!

I also tend to find in certain social situations that my mind goes totally blank, and that searching for the right platitude to utter can often leave me looking rather like a goldfish... and yet when that gem of genius arrives..yup I put my feet firmly in it -

For example...

Friend: "I found out I was expecting last week..."
Millie: "And you had just lost all that weight!"

Whoops - I think what I was looking for was...

Millie: "Congratulations!"

The 'Congratulations' came to me much later in the day, as do most of the correct retorts.

Perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut...Period!

Why oh, why oh, why!

I have one question!

1) Why is it I have the best ideas when I am either fast asleep or just about to sleep?

And everytime I say to myself, thats a good idea - I'll remember that in the morning! Except I don't. And the very next time it comes to me...

Yup - you guessed it - when I am about to embark towards the land of nod! I also keep reminding myself to perhaps bring my note pad up, and a pen / pencil so that I can jot down my eureka moment - I have yet to do that!

Somewhere deep inside my head is a fantastic idea - I just need it to come out! I mean it could be that best selling novel I have been known to witter about...or a cure for something important... or maybe something interesting to blog about!

We may never know!

May the fourth not be with me!

I am sure that I am in some kind of nightmare!

Please pinch me to ensure I am awake!!!!

The day kinda starts off ok - the big yellow thing in the sky is out- I believe some refer to this as 'sun', drive to work all good, traffic very light (think tiny evil people off school or sumsuch), I pass 3 single magpies (single as in on their own, not single as in their dating status - I did not ask), I salute them, wish them well and enquire about the 'missus' which going back to earlier statement they may or may not have.

Make it in to the office, no further a do. Mood lifts as realise collegue who has been off on paternity leave is back - (whoop whoop) saneness returns! Sit at desk, open laptop bag, proceed to fit the various wires etc and turn it on.

Which seemed not what the laptop wanted to do. Eventually after ensuring all power cables all present and correct, it powers up - and that's it!  After watching it cycle through the boot up sequence 3 times, trying all the options (safe mode, last working config etc) realise need to get the IT bods on the case.

So, I ambush a desktop and the log in process - which will take an age as first time looged on etc, and decide before facing the IT bods, need a strong cup of tea. Go the tea caddy, and alas empty - bar one lonely ripped tea bag.

FECK!

Go to machine & purchase some radioactive tea sludge subsitute, grab broken laptop go to IT bods domain. No one in. After the second failed attempt - realise things getting desparate and phone 'the IS helpdesk' or what is locally referred to as (un)Helpdesk. Spend several minutes explaining problem to bod on phone (who actually seemed more interested in eating his whatever than the problem at hand), informed that yes, I had turned it off and on again. He then asks what the error message I get at log in says - Grrr - There is no error message as it never reaches the log on screen.

Thirty minutes later, I have a reference number, have been advised to speed things up to go to my local IS office (fume) and the SLA is 7 days... So what do I do in the meantime? The bloomin desktop is missing half the programmes I have on the laptop and is 3gig slower as laptop was upgraded!

Set off processes on the desktop - which then locks up! Takes 4 hours to run a 20 min job, decide to try using the spare laptop (spare as in we managed to keep hold of when we got a new one!) Leave that to try and boot up (it was abandoned as randomly ignores the powercable, decides out of battery and powers down - save button is your friend!) While that is booting up, think I will have a browse on Twitter....No service on phone!!!

DAGNAMMIT!

Reboot Iphone, switch to coffee - finally get into my e mails! Outlook decides to sent me the e-mails I should have had on Friday, and periodically sends me the ones from today - in batches of about 10! Eventaully find a human (ish) in the IT bods office, discover the usual helpful chappie is on holiday, look round the people(ish) and enquire as to whom is the current laptop fixer, some poor sod gets pointed at. I pounce and scare him(ish) into looking at sad laptop with immeadiate effect, mumbling words such as 'Do you know who I am...' feel slightly guilty as he looks scared and gets straight on to it - to the extent I get hourly updates in person.

Also had the cleversods making the comments like 'Oooh another broken laptop- does somebody want one of the new ones?'

The answer is a NO NO NO  - as we changed supplier and I is not keen - so asked them to move - heaven, earth and all inbetween to ensure the survival of said laptop.

Light at the end of the tunnel???

Latest update is that it needs rebuilding, but will be left overnight to do so!

I won't even go into the crappy e mails & issues I had to deal with today! 

Rant over :-)

Unexpected Bliss!

Today I was granted with an unexpected gift - some ME time!

The 'hubby' was invited last minute to a golf game, which for a change started at a normal hour of the day - bonus!

The question I was left with - how to spend those few priceless hours -

    1) A bout of spring cleaning?

    2) Catch up on the washing and/or ironing?

    3) Untangle the shoes & bags & shoes hiding under the bed, behind the sofa and in the wardrobes?

The above options really struck me as things that can be done anytime -which one normally partakes in when football is on the tellybox  -apart from the shoes & bags -which I feel for my safety must stay hidden - in this case safety is not in numbers!

So, I continued pondering - 

    4) Write the next best selling novel

    5) Catch up on some reading

    6) Discover a cure for something really, really important!

    7) Potter about in the garden

These options seemed a much better way to while away my time - however the lack of sun put pot to the gardening idea, after the last hectic scriptfrenzy month needed a wee break from writing. The lack of science lab and test tubes, lab coats and all things sciencey (SP?) kinda puts the kybosh on that plan - which meant the reading -whoo - that then lead to:

    a) Which book to start with

    b) SCI Fi / Romance / Thriller etc

    c) Where the hell are all the books (Spare room, living room, bathroom & piled up with the gas meters!)

At this rate - was going to spend all the time debating with myself (whilst a good debate, but getting nowhere) instead of doing something - so I:

    i) Made a big cup of tea

    ii) Went back to bed

   iii) Watch a film I had recorded - (Officer & a Gentleman - MmmmMmmm)

   iiii) Sneaked the cats into the room and curled up with them (!)

   iv) Discovered that cats snore

   v) Had a nice long soak in the bath

   vi) Painted nails

   vii) Caught up on some downloaded programmes

Also managed to jot down some ideas for the best selling novel (watch this space!), and is currently having another cup of tea whilst pondering on what to cook for dinner...

Do I...

Tee hee

I'm Back!

Bon Jour!

Just in case you were wondering where I had gone, or even if you noticed - which would be rather suprising due to the regular postings, or not!

Well anyway - am back!

For the last month, with good friend Elenelathuin we have been manically typing away for Scriptfrenzy.org - where you have to write 100 pages screenplay by 23:59 30th April. The good news on this, rather than Nanowrimo is that you can work together! Whoop!

So we have finally suceeded, killed off countless Zombies, Meerkats & various other bad guys. Rescued fair maidens and joked with the Cheerleaders or Barbies,  and made our hero look rather good.

And can now relax, and start the countdown to next year!

Millie x

Too much work makes Mille a dull girl!

Eeeee!

I am seriously debating, and I mean putting real thought into one of the following:

1) Cloning multiple Millies

2) Freezing time

3) err there is no three!

Either way, I am still not sure that there will still be enough Millie to satisify all the work requirements coming her way. :(

The annoying part is that when I manage to find a teeny tiny piece of time in the day, for something like a toilet break, or to try (note try) and consume food, the 'manager' seems to think this is a great oppotunity to pile yet more work on my plate.. which I believe must be made of titanium or somesuch!

I am happy to be working, (as much as anyone can be happy leaving their bed) but really?

Annula leave seems to be out the question and replaced with 'All Day Workshops'! Fun! Fun! Fun!

I would also not put it past the 'manager' to leave a small volcanic dust cloud along the flight path for my up and coming holiday! Surely not?

Anyhoo rant over... back to work!

Holiday Cover for the Grim!

I was recently perusing  a story on the Beeb website around unusual & pointless job titles (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/low/magazine/8570244.stm) when amongst the comments was 'Mortality Manager'. 

This set me thinking that maybe this was the official title for Mr G Reaper, alas the commentee was not a G Reaper but a nurse!!!

This then led to a thought on who would cover for Mr Reaper when he take a holiday. If indeed he does, and even if he is a he!

After a lenghty discussion in the work room, it was mainly decreed that if Mr Grim (We had (Royal We) decided that he is indeed a he and he does take holidays) that Davy Jones covered and vice versa. 

It must be an amusing site to see Mr G in a scuba suit!

Millie

Doh!

Every year, when it comes to removing the christmas decorations... some how I inadvertently forget one...

3 years back, I found nestled on the teddy shelf (Don't ask) a small snow covered house...this was discovered late October and in all honestly was quite hard to spot.. in fact the item was only discovered after a cat (and I have many) knocked some teddies off the shelf as he found there was not the room for all of them!

2 years back, there was the christmas tree lights that had been put up in the archway in the kitchen, this was noticed in the March, but I query this as they are pretty lights and they go nice with the kitchen and pretty colours shine on the walls when switched on and they add to any party spirit!

1 year ago, there was some tinsel (OK I cannot talk my way out of this...) that had been artfully drapped over the pictures in the living room. In my defence, they were on the wall behind the sofa, and the tinsel was red as were the pictures. I did not even notice this, it was a collegue at work whom had driven me home as I was a tad unwell, and was gobsmacked to say the least!

This year - I scoured all the shelves, the mirrors and photos determined to remove all traces of tinsel, snowmen and glitter, feeling rather proud of myself I thought I had broken the chain..

Alas nope, a few weeks ago, I had forgotton my house keys and needed to use the knocker, which was blocked by the holly wreath - I hastly removed the now dead & dried item to the bin, hoping no-one else had noticed and proceded to block out of my mind - I mean Jan is still within a time limit?

Well...

Today I was fighting with golf clubs, mops, brushes and ironing board to get to the boilier switch (located in the cupboard under the stairs) when one of the aforementioned mops got tangled in something on the wall... my felt advent calendar!!!

I am sure that somewhere I read / was told / old wives tale that after the 12 days it is bad luck to remove any christmas item left and it should stay there the remainder of the year?

So what to do??

Les Miserables

Today I was lucky enough once again to be visiting our nations capital.

:)

However was for work so :(

And.... I noticed something... well tis something that I notice most days - however with my excitement of a train journey & the tube & stuff... how miserable everybody seems to look.

Buses are the worst for this - if you look at a bus, people look grey and miserable - the grey could be down to the bus needing a wash.. but still.

Car drivers, sit behind the wheel, shoulders drooped... Tis a tad depressing.

Its not always on the ways to work, on the way home its the same.. and weekends??

Has the nation lost a pound and found a penny?

If you are wondering I was the nutter, standing open mouthed in awe, grinning at all in St Panc's!!

The Curious Case of the Missing Forks!

I have heard of washing machines eating socks, and pixies that sneak in, in the middle of the night and eat the chocolate biscuits!

However...

I have never heard of a case where a dishwasher vanishes forks?

At some point last year I had at least 12 forks, 12 knives, 12 spoons and umpteen teaspoons, yesterday I only had 2 forks left in the drawer? So I checked in the dishwasher expecting to find the remaining forks..

Eh uh!

There was only 1 lonely fork! First point of call was to Hubby enquiring if he was stockpiling them - in case of a mass fork shortage - the response is not printable (!) but the general gist was in the negative. 

I happened to mention to Brother the situation we were in, when, lo, he responded that he has a similar situation with knives!

We can only conclude that maybe Mother is after a new dining set... so where is she going to get the spoons from!

Stepford Wives - Watch Out!

At last - I feel I can raise a sigh of relief and hang my apron back up, remove the hair grips from my hair and become me again!

Something perculiar tends to happen to me over the festive period - I change from easy going, non traditionalist, tis my house - to...

shock, horror - 

A stepford wife!

And every year I swear it will not happen again - yet it does!

I become the 'perfect' daughter, cousin, hostess, etc.. whatever the required role is - I smile (alot) I curtsey (lol - only joking on that one - almost) I am polite, I do not retort with the sarcastic quips I employ the rest of the year and I gush over the thoughtless gifts! 'Why thank you for another bottle of *insert drink* that I do not drink - shall I add it to the collection of the last 5 years of undrinkable rubbish that is only fit to clean the drains!' or 'Lovely, bubble bath & smellies - just the ones that I am allergic to - you shouldn't have!'

The house becomes a festive delight - most showhomes would be envious of!

Now, please don't get me wrong & classify me as un-grateful - just that one would have thought with my nearest & dearest knowing me for so long (Eg Parents) they would be aware of what I am allergic to at least? Perhaps I judge too harshly? I tend to spend conciderable time & thought on getting the right gift, and buy into the it's not the size or the expense - whereas my Mother tends to believe that the more you get the better - thus we end up with a lot of tat. Sometimes the same tat as last year - & can easily identify the impulse buys - when we all end up with a purple pair of gloves - males & females alike!

I have also noticed that other believers in the tat - wrap back up tat from previous years and re-distribute! I swear the same make your own soap set has been passed around since the late nineties!

Then we come to the food - Hubby & I try to avoid people on the day itself - this year we nearly managed it - we were picked up around 6 ish to pop into Brothers house by parents - which was nice - if perhaps Mother had thought to inform said Brother!

Somehow I tend to find myself agreeing to cook on boxing day - (Why????) then various people invite themselves and turn up - drink me best then snore! Each year I say I will do something different - Chinese... but I always conform at the last minute - have not got over Xmas a few years ago when I deviated slightly from prawn cocktail to stir fried prawns in plum sauce! You would honestly have thought I had served up Rudolf! I do not however serve turkey - & that I insist upon.

So we all sit / cram ourselves round the table, laugh at the cracker jokes, listen to Dad's funny story for the 100th time and smile - keep smiling! Inside saying next year we will go away - somewhere far away like the moon!

I think the worst thing - is that Mother starts planning for next christmas while the current christmas is still playing out - definately the cause of the grey hairs I feel brewing!

Anyway -to the basis - I thought I had put it all behind me, till I get home and realise I still have the holly wreath on the front door!

Same time next year?

Here we go – 2010!

Hello there!



Decided to try and keep at least one new years resolution (or revolution as I used to call them in my younger days – but that is an entirely separate story and a totally different thing altogether!), I digress!



So I decided that I would not only try blogging but stick to it – but I hear you ask, ‘why wait till half way through the first month?’

There is no answer to that! And how do you know that it was 2010’s resolution not 2007 or 2006 even and I am just exceptionally slow at what I do!



I did have a great answer to that.. that I would post my blog on ‘Blue Monday’ - the day where people realise that they are not going to stick to resolutions, the diet went out the window, the bills are in and jeans are just that bit too tight! The day when the Samaritans have there call centres to maximum capacity (Tis a good job they are not affected!) the day the media refer to as ‘Blue Monday’



I thought there was poetic irony to it – but as you can see – tis Tuesday – See – told you I was slow!



Anyhoo this is me!



Millie

NB - for the eagle eyed out there - I am aware it is in fact Wednesday!