The Curious Case of the Missing Forks!

I have heard of washing machines eating socks, and pixies that sneak in, in the middle of the night and eat the chocolate biscuits!

However...

I have never heard of a case where a dishwasher vanishes forks?

At some point last year I had at least 12 forks, 12 knives, 12 spoons and umpteen teaspoons, yesterday I only had 2 forks left in the drawer? So I checked in the dishwasher expecting to find the remaining forks..

Eh uh!

There was only 1 lonely fork! First point of call was to Hubby enquiring if he was stockpiling them - in case of a mass fork shortage - the response is not printable (!) but the general gist was in the negative. 

I happened to mention to Brother the situation we were in, when, lo, he responded that he has a similar situation with knives!

We can only conclude that maybe Mother is after a new dining set... so where is she going to get the spoons from!

Stepford Wives - Watch Out!

At last - I feel I can raise a sigh of relief and hang my apron back up, remove the hair grips from my hair and become me again!

Something perculiar tends to happen to me over the festive period - I change from easy going, non traditionalist, tis my house - to...

shock, horror - 

A stepford wife!

And every year I swear it will not happen again - yet it does!

I become the 'perfect' daughter, cousin, hostess, etc.. whatever the required role is - I smile (alot) I curtsey (lol - only joking on that one - almost) I am polite, I do not retort with the sarcastic quips I employ the rest of the year and I gush over the thoughtless gifts! 'Why thank you for another bottle of *insert drink* that I do not drink - shall I add it to the collection of the last 5 years of undrinkable rubbish that is only fit to clean the drains!' or 'Lovely, bubble bath & smellies - just the ones that I am allergic to - you shouldn't have!'

The house becomes a festive delight - most showhomes would be envious of!

Now, please don't get me wrong & classify me as un-grateful - just that one would have thought with my nearest & dearest knowing me for so long (Eg Parents) they would be aware of what I am allergic to at least? Perhaps I judge too harshly? I tend to spend conciderable time & thought on getting the right gift, and buy into the it's not the size or the expense - whereas my Mother tends to believe that the more you get the better - thus we end up with a lot of tat. Sometimes the same tat as last year - & can easily identify the impulse buys - when we all end up with a purple pair of gloves - males & females alike!

I have also noticed that other believers in the tat - wrap back up tat from previous years and re-distribute! I swear the same make your own soap set has been passed around since the late nineties!

Then we come to the food - Hubby & I try to avoid people on the day itself - this year we nearly managed it - we were picked up around 6 ish to pop into Brothers house by parents - which was nice - if perhaps Mother had thought to inform said Brother!

Somehow I tend to find myself agreeing to cook on boxing day - (Why????) then various people invite themselves and turn up - drink me best then snore! Each year I say I will do something different - Chinese... but I always conform at the last minute - have not got over Xmas a few years ago when I deviated slightly from prawn cocktail to stir fried prawns in plum sauce! You would honestly have thought I had served up Rudolf! I do not however serve turkey - & that I insist upon.

So we all sit / cram ourselves round the table, laugh at the cracker jokes, listen to Dad's funny story for the 100th time and smile - keep smiling! Inside saying next year we will go away - somewhere far away like the moon!

I think the worst thing - is that Mother starts planning for next christmas while the current christmas is still playing out - definately the cause of the grey hairs I feel brewing!

Anyway -to the basis - I thought I had put it all behind me, till I get home and realise I still have the holly wreath on the front door!

Same time next year?

Here we go – 2010!

Hello there!



Decided to try and keep at least one new years resolution (or revolution as I used to call them in my younger days – but that is an entirely separate story and a totally different thing altogether!), I digress!



So I decided that I would not only try blogging but stick to it – but I hear you ask, ‘why wait till half way through the first month?’

There is no answer to that! And how do you know that it was 2010’s resolution not 2007 or 2006 even and I am just exceptionally slow at what I do!



I did have a great answer to that.. that I would post my blog on ‘Blue Monday’ - the day where people realise that they are not going to stick to resolutions, the diet went out the window, the bills are in and jeans are just that bit too tight! The day when the Samaritans have there call centres to maximum capacity (Tis a good job they are not affected!) the day the media refer to as ‘Blue Monday’



I thought there was poetic irony to it – but as you can see – tis Tuesday – See – told you I was slow!



Anyhoo this is me!



Millie

NB - for the eagle eyed out there - I am aware it is in fact Wednesday!